I'm gonna go right ahead and say that this blog post is premature, because I'm still figuring out where I stand on this idea. But, let's say that this is the intro to this idea. I've never been one to hold back and scrutinize my thoughts, songs, or lyrics for too long before I put the idea out there. You tell me where you stand.
I recently had a long discussion with JP Bouvet in a Bay-area Sports Bar over a loud Basketball game (and lost my voice the next day) about the idea of constants in our lives. This is so interesting to me because I'd never quite tried to identify the "constants" in my life before. I think that many things that may not seem to mean that much to you, actually do, and it's not until they're almost gone, or threatened, that you realize this. But maybe if we took a good hard look at what we value most, we'd avoid a lot of pain and wasted time in the future that would be spent on variables. This sounds like a very idealistic outlook, but this is only to make a clear point and challenge your perception on the topic.
A variable it defined as something that is liable to change. Variables come and go. But, let me say first off, that variables in our lives are incredible. They can make you feel alive; they can challenge you and create constant progress. This idea of "constant progress" is going to be saved for another blog post. I've got a lot to say about that one.
The issue with the variable is when it starts to infringe on the constant. So far this post has been very vague, let's bring it into this world with a real-life example:
I am Sulene. One of my constants is composing, I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. My variable is a new relationship. This new relationship infringes on my composing; it detracts from it and demands more of my time than I can offer. What do I do?
Well, this is where a divide forms. The variable challenges you, remember? It tries to pull you away and show you a new perspective on life, it can make you happy, it kisses you when you wake up in the morning, it shows you new books, new movies, and challenges your ideals. A variable sheds new light on your current situation, it offers you insight and intelligence. It moves you. Or... it distracts you, tires you, and takes up your energy which you had already pre-determindly put towards your trustworthy constants. This part is so important. I can't emphasize it enough. I wish I had realized this before, because so often I'd wake up and think... wow, where did the last 4 months go? I haven't written anything and here I sit feeling guilty about it... what a coincidence, it can't really have to do with my new "variable" in my life, could it? Yes, it could. For me, If I'm letting a constant go, then there is something deeply wrong with the nature of the relationship I have with said variable.
My constants are my family, my friends, and my music. My constants are so important to me that I get territorial - I defend friendships to the point of losing new ones, I defend my friendship with my ex-boyfriend (who is one of my best friends) to the point of losing developing relationships, and I constantly ask my family what their opinion on matters in my life is. The constants ground me. But, the variables excite me. And so the battle continues.
You know your life is truly changing when a variable becomes a constant, and I believe that's what we're all really looking for - someone or something that literally changes your life. I just hope that we don't get blinded by this desire to the point of letting it change the constants prematurely. Because after all, constants are in place as a permanent fixture for a reason - because you have defined them as such and they keep you sane, happy, and with purpose (at least I know this is true for myself). My final food for thought would be to look at your current situation, and almost objectively, evaluate how much the variable is affecting your constant; in what way, and is it positive or negative? How important is this sacrifice to you? The word sacrifice may seem harsh, but I'm going to be bold and say that your time is worth so much more than you probably realize. So don't waste it.
All my love and I hope you're all well,